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You might be in EMS if:

You might be in EMS if… 
  1. You remove any form of assessment/treatment from a nurse and do it yourself (IV, EKG, BP, finger stick, etc.)
  2. You assess a person’s veins when shaking their hand
  3. You speak in medical terms and your doctor has to look up what you said
  4. You’re pretty sure you can determine someone’s Mallampati score after a short conversation
  5. No one wants to play the “I saw the grossest thing” game with you anymore
  6. The microwave, dryer, and doorbell all sounds like pager tones
  7. You buy a car with ease-of-class 3-installation in mind
  8. You wipe your feet when leaving a house
  9. You pick a car color that will contrast or coordinate nicely with emergency lighting
  10. You firmly believe Valium should come as lollipops and salt licks
  11. Psych patients make decent conversationalists
  12. Oxygen tubing has been a major component in a practical joke
  13. If you wash your hands before going to the bathroom
  14. You count CPR as a cardio workout
  15. One word: “disbitch”
  16. You can recognize the “Ambulance Dance”
  17. When friends/family call you before 911
  18. It takes you longer to get ready to go out on the ambulance than it does on a date
  19. You know exactly how far away from the nearest trauma center you live
  20. You know the dispatchers’ shifts by heart
  21. The dispatchers know yours
  22. You plan major life events around things like marathons, opening of hunting season, and 4th of July
  23. A hot meal, shower, or bathroom break set you on edge
  24. “Quiet” is worse than any 4-letter word
  25. You’re pretty sure you know which frequent flyer has called just by their chief complaint
  26. You place bets on #25
  27. You win
  28. You’ve related to any one of the above…

31 Comments to You might be in EMS if::

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